My husband is currently a Junior, at our local University and majoring in Computer Science. He is having difficulties, as some of the classes are very challenging. He pitched me the idea, of changing his major to Linguistics, Math, History, etc. In our time together, he has changed his mind about going to school full-time or working full-time. He has changed his mind about his area of study at least ten times, prior to electing the Computer major. He is currently attending classes full-time and working about 20 hours a week at a local retail store.
I am the primary bread winner, and am decently settled in my job (Social Services) . I am currently carrying 12 units, and will complete my B.A. in Social Services, in about three to four semesters. We have a mortgage, two kids, and one on the way. After a lot of soul searching, we compromised on our current solution. I'd complete my degree online, to allow more time for our kids and home while he'd focus on completing school while working minimal hours. The agreement is that once he completes his B.A., he will begin to seek out a stable %26amp; full-time job.
The question/concern is, how do I encourage him to realize that this back and forth is stressing me out? It is stressful to think that the two ed. years left will turn into four or even five years, if he keeps changing his mind. This whole semester may not even count towards the new major, depending on the reqs. I understand we all go through major changes %26amp; doubts, and I don't want him to be stuck in a major he hates. I tried talking to him about this, and he said that he is tired of going to school and wants to pick an easy major which will get him out faster.
Husband keeps changing his major?
Tell him the truth, that you go to college to graduate and get a job. Switching majors does nothing to accomplish that and you love him and that is why you are working so hard now so that he can do this. He needs to be practical he is working to get a career, not to make his career being a student. Tell him once he completes his current major with a degree then it.
He is not going to have much of a career with an undergraduate degree in linguistics math or history. But, he can have a career with an undergraduate degree in computer science.
Part of being a husband and father means putting your loved ones first (as opposed to the easier major) and meeting your responsibilities to them. Life is not perfect, but you are at home and taking classes on line and raising 2 children with a 3rd on the way so he can work minimal hours and be a student. This is not fun and games but the lives of you and your children are involved in what he decides. He wants to pull out because the course work is %26quot;challenging%26quot;. Life is challenging and when it is, we need to work harder to meet the challenge not change majors or careers because of a few bumps along the road.
Husband keeps changing his major?
Your husband may be afraid of the real world and its responsibilities so he could be hiding behind the security blanket of changing majors. If he can stay in school, he can postpone indefinitely the need to get a full time job and support his family!
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Tell him a four-year degree is exactly that. Four years. He can change his mind when it comes to grad school, as a master's is only 30-36 credits.
A master's is the new bachelor's.
This is why most people wait to get married till after college is over with.
He sounds very happy being supported by you...and won't change.
Your husband needs to stop screwing around. You've been very helpful and sympathetic to his needs and wants, you're even finishing your degree online to ease the stress... but at some point, enough is enough. He has to follow through on this degree in THIS particular major. I can tell you that every major is difficult in its own way. English and history majors have to write a thesis, which requires extensive research and dedication so to write them off as 'easy' is a mistake. If he changes his major YET AGAIN, he's just going to find an excuse later on for why that one is too hard.
He needs to stop making excuses, and being lazy. You're pulling more than your fair share right now. Take this as a chance to give your guy some tough love.
As a good partner, you should be supportive, but also be realistic in money matters. Pitch it to him, that switching your major is expensive, encourage him to take some time out of college and really figure it out and then go back, that way it will be less financially burdensome and he could help out with the newborn(since you have one along the way) and the other kids and will not be putting so much work on you. You are a mom not superwoman! So have a heart-to-heart conversation about making a decision and sticking with it. Understand if he needs more time to find a job. It is a tough job climate out there. Ask him if he is willing to do a part-time administrative position to help out with the bills and tuition payments(if he decides to stay in the switch mode of college education).
